HELLO Cooler Weather

     Tuesday was like most days in the Roach house.  Bobby got up around 6:30 to start getting ready for work, and I sluggishly joined him around 7:15.  I'm totally NOT a morning person. . . . . .  Our life is NOT like you see on the movies.  We DON'T roll over to give each other kisses to greet each other in the morning.  It usually begins with Bobby frantically turning the alarm off so, as to not wake up sleeping Kohen.  He crawls over me in the bed instead of letting his feet hit the floor on his side of the bed.  Why, you ask?  Why would he do that?  Well, welcome the original hardwood floors that we fell in love with when we bought this house.  The ones that now we DETEST!!!!  They are a source of amplified creaking throughout the house.  It's probably not near as bad as we make it out to be; BUT when you have a four month old that is lightly sleeping, and you need to get a shower it seems as if it resonates through the entire neighborhood with each exaggerated step that we take.  It's like it's all happening in slow motion.  Bobby is so much better than I am though.  I'm the one that hits the snooze button no less than 5 times.  All the while, I'm reasoning with myself on why I don't have to wash my hair, or I don't have to have a shower.  He usually pops right up after the alarm goes off.  It honestly is one of the many areas that I envy about Bobby.  Then with a groan and a sigh I usually will finally pry myself out of the bed.  By this time, Bobby usually has already gotten Keller up for school.  Sometimes Keller has already gotten up.  He's one of those rare kids that gets up for school before his parents get him up.  That's wonderful, I know, however, on a Saturday morning it SUCKS!!!!!  

     Anywho, moving on . . . . . . .  It was the usual morning of running around brushing teeth, being a Houdini with Keller's hair, packing up lunch, putting clothes on, prying him away from the TV . . . .  all the while we are spelling words for this week. Then at the last minute we squeeze in a cereal bar, or a cup of oatmeal for the car.  I know. . . . .  it sounds VERY organized doesn't it? I came back inside MAD at myself that I didn't wash my hair, that I didn't get up and do my quiet time, that I didn't have my prayer time . . . . . I sat down read through what I'm working through in my Bible, and opened my prayer app to begin praying. . . . . .  ENTER . . . .  cooing baby . . . . . . . . ENTER singing three year old on the monitor!  As focused as I could be, I rushed through my prayer time.  I know,  judge me if you will.  I've finally realized that a rushed prayer time with distractions in the background is better than nothing at all.  I'm not making excuses.  I realize that I should NEVER put that time on the back burner, and that I should get up right when the alarms goes off.  That way I can enter my quiet time and prayer time with complete focus and dedication.  I know ALL of that.  However, I am human and many mornings I don't.  Why shouldn't we be real with each other and share those parts of ourselves? Instead, so many of us, try to make our lives look like a fairy tale and perfect in every aspect.  I'm finally at a place in my spiritual walk where I'm completely and totally okay with admitting that.  For many of you who know me well, you know that is a huge step for me.  

      Fast forward to around 10 am when I walk outside to take the trash out . . . . . .  HELLO 64 degrees!!!!!  I'm so very glad that I'm that mother, the mother that didn't check the weather, and sent my son in shorts and a T-shirt!  Thank you God for your GRACE and watching over my children when I check-out . . . . . 

Day by Day

I'm so very behind on blogging, and considering our latest adventure in the Roach home I have PLENTY of time to blog. I was overcome with emotion last night as I considered just how blessed my family truly is.  This last week has consisted of a challenging transition for our little family.  Mommy went from doing most everything for us to doing absolutely NOTHING for us.  I'm not saying that I do EVERYTHING, but for most, the responsibilities of the household fall on mommy.  Especially a mommy who only works two days a week, and primary job is homemaker.  With that said my precious husband has stepped up to the plate, and has made me look like a sad excuse for a homemaker.

His days consist of getting up each morning, getting himself dressed, waking the kids, getting them dressed (including hair fixing and tooth brushing), breakfast, making bags for them both, loading them into the car, taking them to there "homes" for the day, and rushing into work.  His day then starts as making decisions with his staff to once again help people.  By this time, he usually rushes home for lunch to make sure that I'm surrounded by any kind of snack that I might need, and making me lunch.  He then runs back to work and finishes out his day.  From there he will usually run to the gym and get a quick workout or come home for a quick run.  Then it's time to pick up the kids.  Last night consisted of getting home by 5, feeding the kids a quick supper, dressing them, and rushing to soccer practice.  Mind you, before he left the house he made sure I had medicines, food, drink, phone, computer, book etc.  . . . . . anything that I could possibly need while he was gone.  By the time he walked in the house last night following a soccer practice with a 5 year old and a 3 year old he still had a smile on his face and a pep in his step.  Not as peppy but peppy none the less.  Does his day stop then?  Nope . . . .  baths to give, snacks for the kiddos, pajamas, homework, "down time", and waiting on me hand and foot.  Needless to say, when he got into the bed last night he was pooped beyond belief.  He did make the comment of "it's just continuous, it never ends and keeping the house picked up by yourself is hard".  I will have to admit, HONESTLY, for a split second I did have to chuckle to myself because, I've walked in those shoes many days.  Then, I was overwhelmed with just how very wonderful of a man that God sent to me.  When your dating and thinking of your potential spouse this is nothing that I ever thought about.  Sure, I looked at Bobby and thought, "won't he be a good daddy one day", but never did I consider if he could run our entire household.

All I can say is THANKFUL!!!!!   We have this as our daily routine in the Roach home for 11 more days.  Please pray for Bobby and his sanity.  This entire time I've looked at this as an inconvenience for me, because I have to stare at 4 walls twenty-four seven day in, and day out, and them I'm reminded that my day is super easy.  Thank you Bobby Glenn Roach . . . . . . you are an amazing man.  I pray that you feel important today, and know that you are more than appreciated.

A day in the life . . . . . .

It's been FOREVER since I blogged.  It's not that I haven't put my thoughts on paper . . . . . . . . I was looking today, and I have about 10 blogs that I just never posted.  Who know's why . . . . . .  they just didn't seem postable at the time.  Now, they are out of date so it just seems meaningless.

Much has happened in our lives since last posting. . . . . I haven't posted since September of last year.  It's amazing really to think of what all has gone in our lives.  We've had Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's.  I feel like such an inadequate blogger.  I should have posted the great pics of our first Halloween in our new neighborhood of our little Spider Girl and Captain American painting the town.  All of the numerous ways that our family has been blessed over the last year, and how very thankful we are of that.  Our wonderful Christmas spent with friends and family . . . . the list goes on.  I took pics of it all, and had good intentions of sharing, but honestly it's still ALL sitting on my camera along with the thousands of other pics that I have saved.  Think what you will . . . . . .  that's what I do though, I take the pics, and then take months, sometimes years, to do anything with them.

So, this year, as our lives get even busier I vow to try and do better.  I feel myself just thinking how crazy I am to say that, but REALLY . . .  I am going to make an effort.  Our new addition to our growing family should arrive the first of May . . . . . and I SOOOOOO don't want to be the mom that barely has pics of the little guy.  It just gets so hard, and so busy . . . .  BUT I know that I will be so glad, and he will feel so special if I stick to it and follow through with documenting our lives.  I'm going to try and make an effort.  Let's face it, life can be take from us at any given second, and I pray that my children will KNOW, and see that I cared enough about them to take time out of our busy schedules to leave them a legacy through pics and letters.

Today, as most days, McKendry and I spent about an hour of our morning snuggled up on the couch watching "girly" shows and relaxing.  I began to bargain with her how much I might be able to get accomplished without her having my undivided attention.  She seemed a little reluctant, but, as most days, I decided to slip out from under our blankets, and put it in high gear before time to pick up Keller from school.  This consisted of putting the television on her VERY FAVORITE show, getting out her favorite books, putting my phone on her favorite game, and then immediately tearing up the stairs in high gear to see what all I could get done.  I had about 30 minutes to get it all done.   .   .   .  I never know what I'm going to get, so I have to prioritize my duties of most to least important. ( the DIVA breakdown sometimes only gives me 5 minutes) I usually start with the kitchen sink, because it seems to be the catch all for most of the filth in my home.  I honestly feel like most days I unload, reload, unload, reload the dishwasher all day.  DONE. . . . .  I then move onto the other dungeon of our home *drumroll, please* the dreaded laundry room.  I turned the dryer on for the 15th time to "refluff" some clothes (15 is an exaggeration BUT third time is not), run to make up all of the beds, pick up the, count em', 7 pairs of shoes scattered throughout the floors, make a quick sweep over the dining room and kitchen floors, make the beds, flush the kids commode and wipe off the "waste" left behind (I would literally be ashamed for anyone to witness that first hand), pick up the scattered clothes here and there that the kids have shed 'just because', pick up bathrooms . . . . and the list goes on.  Take a second to look at my watch and I realize "WOW, I'm doing good, I did all of that in like 25 minutes and STILL not a peep out of McKendry!"  Then, I take a look in the mirror with what I have to work , in the next 5 minutes, for the day.  WOW, totally bad hair day  . . . . . .  maybe going to bed with the freshly showered head last night after teaching spin wasn't the best decision.  This is when you get the spray bottle out and PRAY that you can get it laid down enough to make it look like you tried just a little.  Oh well, no such luck, plan #2 the "old faithful" pony tail . . . . . . . WOW that's even bad.  Plan #3 pony tail with the baseball hat . . . . . . well, that will have to do.  Slap on the bare minimum of makeup, so as not to scare the neighbors, and then quickly run downstair to dress McKendry.  The spray bottle and brush, of course, for her, TOTALLY makes her look amazing . . . . .Oh to be able to do that again.  We then rush out the door to head into town to pick up Keller.  We go through our usual routine, wait in car rider line while McKendry usually watches a movie on the dvd player and I catch up on reading.  As Keller gets into the van we go through the usual "how was your day, show me your papers, what you want for lunch etc. . . . .  As I pulled out onto Harper road the piercing double beep of my gas alarm goes off, and I realize oops . . . .  might need to address that.  We proceed to get gas, and decide to make a surprise visit by daddy's office just to say "HI"!  We visit for a moment with Bobby, and then conclude that lunch out might just be easiest.  Off we go to McDonald's (don't judge me, it's totally necessary sometimes). . .  of course, not before stopping at Taco Bell b/c Keller decides a burrita' (as he pronounces it) would be better for his taste palate.  Lunch at McDonald's was actually uneventful, excluding the fighting over which game to play on the game screen at the table, yet in the midst of it when Bobby returned to the table after getting drink refills he reached over and hugged me and said "Do you find yourself wondering  how we're so blessed to live this life?" I thought "WOW, this really is the life!" (but said, "Bobby, I'm pregnant, remember, don't get the flood gates opened right here in front of everyone!")

I know it seems boring and cheesy to most, but what an honor to get to have this life we have . . . . . . .

Heaviness . . . . . .

Do you ever have those days when your overcome with emotion. . . . .  It's like everything that you could possibly feel in your entire lifetime is laid on your heart at that very moment.  I've been so convicted lately of how we flippantly will say that we are praying for someone yet, we cease to truly PRAY for that person.  Not the prayer of "dear God, you know _________ needs, I pray that you will meet those needs"  in the midst of our crazy day. You know what I'm talking about . . . . . . if we are honest we all do it.  I'm not bashing those prayers or saying they aren't worthy. God hears all of our prayers, and I KNOW that no prayer is to small or to big for our God. BUT I do feel that we should set aside time to PRAY without ceasing for those needs of our friends, family, co-workers,  acquaintance's, friends of friends etc.  The truth of the matter is we are all family doing life together, and God calls us to support each other not only in the extraordinary times, when it's easy, but also during the times of dismay.  Those are the times when we need each other the most.  The times when we question, "why?" The times when we become angry at how such horrible things can happen to such wonderful people.

This morning I woke to so many prayer needs of those close to me (and even not-so-close) that I genuinely was overwhelmed.  I had no conception of where to begin, what to pray, how to pray . . . . .  I could not process all the emotion, all the devastation, the wonderful praise of healing, and new days ahead.  I felt myself  being so easily distracted when praying for these needs.  Distracted . . . . . .  really?Why would I become distracted?  We are talking about peoples lives, questions of what tomorrow brings, pleads with God to heal peoples bodies, yet my mind would still drift to things concerning me.  I know that seems so selfish, and awful of me to admit. How could I be so heartless that I would let other things distract me?  What were those distractions?  Distractions of praise . .  praise that I have been so blessed with all that I have.  Conviction of how often I'm not appreciative of what I have, how I constantly find myself wanting more, yearning for more, and feeling like I NEED more.  Conviction of not only my blessing, but how I fail MISERABLY daily by trying to take control, and be my hands and feet.  Daily I find myself doubting how I may have handled a situation at work, with Bobby, with my children, at a store or on the road to a total stranger.  Why do I doubt those times? BECAUSE I'm not letting God lead me.

So, today, as I do life will all of you I pray that I will take my prayer time seriously.  I pray that when my thoughts drift to you, that not only will I cherish you as one of my thoughts, but that I will genuinely pray for you.  I don't have to specifically know your needs, God knows them.  I just have to focus my eyes on Him and not the distractions of me.  Each of you deserve the prayers of praise, thanksgiving, healing, renewal without distraction.  I vow to be raw and candid when even the flesh of me worries what others may think.  God calls us to be real with each other.

Know that you are loved and that today my heart is so heavy for many.  I take that heaviness seriously . . . .

Happy Birthday Keller!

WOW!  The last couple of months have been a whirlwind of fun.  . . . . . My mom always stayed at home with my brother and I during the summers.  I remember those days of waking up to see what fun new adventure mom had planned for us.  I wouldn't exactly call me that kind of mom, but I will say that we have stayed very busy.

This past weekend we held Keller's Water Birthday Extravaganza at our home.  I'll admit . . . . .  since staying home I have had to become much more creative on how to celebrate Birthday's on a budget. However . . . . . I've really enjoyed the creativity.  June usually creates a challenge.  The heat is almost unbearable, yet, Keller always wants to be outside.  This year was no different than any other in his request to PLAY outside.  Being the good mother that I am *oozing with sarcasm* I truly tried to talk Keller out of being outside.  He insisted.  Solution you ask?  Water . . . .  and LOTS of it!  We purchased every water toy imaginable within our budget and decided to embrace the challenge and move on.  We got up early that morning and filled the kiddy pool with water, set up the water slide, set the sprinkler up, and waited for the fun to begin.  As the children started showing up it was evident that our worries were just that, worries . . . . . . the children were having a BLAST!  How could this party get any better in Keller's eyes UNTIL his Great Aunt Cissy and cousin Jennafer showed up with their gift.  Cissy came to me in true Cissy form . . . . . .  asking me to approve the gift before we showed it to Keller.  I know that request may seem strange to most, but Cissy has a history of going a little BIG when it concerns birthday gifts.  As I walked to her car I wondered how in the world she could have out done the blow up fire station from years past. . . . . .

Needless to say, you can imagine the reaction of the kids. . . . . .  Heck, you can imagine my reaction as well.  I'm a kid myself, I was elated and so blessed for my child to have such a generous and loving family.  Who wouldn't want a mammoth slide in their back yard?  It's just that thank you doesn't quite seem enough for such a wonderful gift for our sweet Keller.  We will NEVER forget this wonderful birthday for our sweet Keller!  Thank you soooooo much for all that were able to take part in our special day . . . . . . . . everything was more than perfect!!!!!

 The perfect cake made just for Keller by his AA!

 Slip and slide fun compliments of daddy!

 A little push from daddy!

 Sweet Friends!

 Bubble's from the slip and slide

 Fun hanging out with friends in the pool!

 Everyone patiently waiting for their turn!

 Fun times!

 Sweet Andrew . . . . . it was his birthday the day of the party!

 Allie's face full of fun!

 Allie Grace sliding!

 Cora getting in on the action!

 Happy Birthday to Keller!

 Everyone wants some cake!

 Keller's new guitar from Mr. Shane!!!

 Keller's very own big boy robe that Gran Gran made!

Thanks Uncle Doug and AA for the Lightning McQueen table!

As you can tell . . . . .   we had a BIG time!!!!!  We thank God for our wonderful friends and family and most of all for the precious life of Keller McKane Roach!!!!!  

Answered Prayer

With only six days of school left for Keller I find myself amazed at how very fast this school year has flown by.  This year was a first for our family.  Up until this year Keller had never gone to school or day care for that matter.  At the beginning of the year our prayers, as Keller's parent's, were mostly about him making new friends and coming out of his shell a bit.  Today as I picked him up from school I was blind sided by the huge transformation that has taken place in his life.  Since September a routine has evolved . . . .  each day around 11:30 McKendry and I leave our house for the short drive to Oakland to pick up Keller from school.  This is ALWAYS very exciting for McKendry because from the second that her eyes open each morning she begins to ask, "Where's my Teller?" her way of saying Keller. Each morning I say the same thing, "he's at school" . . . . I remember throughout the months of September, October when she would ask me this I would have a small ache in my stomach that would come up . . . . . .  I would think to myself . . . . .  "I hope he's having a good day" "Lord, please help him to make new friends" "God, please don't let him sit by himself at recess today" Each day as we pull up I make the same steps up the sidewalk to where all of the children sit patiently (not always) for their loved ones to pick them up from school.  At the beginning of the school year I would usually round the corner to see Keller sitting quietly "criss cross applesauce" waiting . . . .  as soon as he would see me he usually ran to me so happy to see a familiar face. Each day on the ride home we would discuss what they had done that day at school . . . .  I would usually always ask "did you make any new friends today" "who did you play with at recess" most days I would get a no . . . . . .  however, as the months progressed on I would round the corner to find him sitting talking to another child . . . . .  he would also began to greet me with "I played with Jake today or I was the door holder today".  I would share with Bobby in the evenings the progression and usually at supper time Keller would share with his daddy the names of his new little buddies at school.  

Just a couple of weeks ago Keller had his second "field trip" of the year.   When preparing for the field trip I reflected back to his field trip from the beginning of the year.  The first, a trip to the local pumpkin patch, wasn't exactly my idea of a enjoyable day as a mother.  He spent most of the day glued to my leg, and would hardly join his class in any of the activities.  Don't get me wrong, we enjoyed it, but I felt this horrible void for Keller.  I saw how much fun he was missing.  He really didn't show any interest in interaction with the other kids at all.  His teacher and I discussed his shy predisposition, and she encouraged me that he was making strides in the right direction.  . . . now to the second field trip.  This trip, a trip to Tad's Pizza Party, was something that he had talked about for weeks.  On the morning of the trip, as I walked into his room to wake him, his first words to me were "Don't forget I have to wear my school t-shirt" On the way, he talked to me about who he would play with and how very excited he was to join his class.  On this day, as the day started to come to a close, I was in awe of the about-face Keller had made.

God also gave me that same affirmation today . . . . . . as I rounded the corner, as I always do, Mrs. Faye turned and announced "Keller, mommy's here". Today, that shy child that I thought would never come out of his shell, stood up, shot both arms up in the air and turned to all of the children and said, "Bye everyone, I LOVE YOU!"  At that moment Mrs Faye turned to me and said, "that's not something he would have done at the beginning of the year".  As I held my precious child's hand as we walked to the car today tears streamed down my face . . . . . . thank you God for answered prayer.  

Memories That Last a Lifetime

How many of you have a REAL memory of what your life was like before the age of five?  Not many, I, on the other hand, can attest to TRUE memories aging all the way back to two years of age.  It's really kind of fantastic if you ask me.  We moved to Corinth one month before I turned the age of three.  I still can tell you the color of my brother's bed spread, walk you through the floor plan of our home in Sheffield, and honestly recount to you the major land marks in route to and from taking my brother to school.  Many of you, I'm sure, think I'm crazy.  My mother did for a small time frame, that is until I precisely affirmed all of the above mentioned.  

I presume this is a rarity for most.  My husband seems to think so.  He doesn't seem to have the true memories of detail up until the age of around five.  Five . . . . . WOW what a pivotal year in most children's lives.  It's the year you officially start "real" school, the year you have to get eight shots and REMEMBER them, and have to start really doing chores around the house.   Keller will turn five this year.  I feel my heart aching just a bit for him.  I am so excited for the things that are to come in his life, but, at the same time, I feel him becoming more and more independent.  He seems to need me less and less.  I know that this is what the whole "life cycle" is about, but it is really hard.

Keller has always been a bit shy.  He tends to kind of hide behind me, and look to me for reassurance before he does most anything.  Bobby and I are very aware of this, and for the last year we've tried not to be so "babying" of him.  I contribute most of this to the fact that he was never in day care.  For the most part, he had no interaction with other children except for at church.  This may have been a mistake on our parts as parents, however, McKendry has been raised the same way (probably more so) and she is the polar opposite.  Knowing his partiality to be this way Bobby and I have made a push to help give him options to pull him out of his shell, a bit, so to speak.  I'm not trying to change who he is by any means, BUT give him opportunities to broaden his horizons.

He is just sooooo much like me.  He becomes discouraged very easily, and try's to give up quickly if he doesn't master things right off.   I feel I missed so many opportunities because of that lack of confidence.  I NEVER tried to play any sport, try out for cheerleading, or anything that might bring attention to myself for no other reason than the fear of failure.  I was terrified of being embarrassed.  Keller has many of those same mannerisms.  On the contrary, he is a boy.  He does it in such a different way.  A "tough" manly way.  He will usually cross his arms and walk away with a gruff look on his face.

So, this year could be the year of WONDERFUL memories for Keller.  He will start kindergarten.  He will get those dreaded shots.  He will also, because of voiced interest, play soccer and t-ball. This is  something that all of us are very excited about.  Will we be those parent's that sits on the side lines yelling at our child for not getting the run or missing the goal?  Nope, quite the opposite.  I'll be the mom sitting on the side lines fighting back tears just to know the huge step that it will be for him to step out onto the field.  I even understand that he might hate it.  I remember watching my nephew, at this same age, play t-ball.  We would all load up to watch him pretty much pick dandelions in the outfield.  I'm fine with that.  This summer is going to be about memories and opportunity for Keller.  I pray for his sweet heart and his confidence.  I also pray for out patience as parent's.  We've babied him and now it's like all the sudden we expect him to be "tough" and do it all.  It's a fine line of picking them up after a hard fall and kissing their "boo boo's" to getting them to pick themselves up and brush themselves off.

I see this change already taking place in him . . . . . .  today as we took our afternoon stroll through the neighborhood Keller took a hard fall turning into the driveway on his bicycle.   I watched it take place from a few feet back, and cringed as it went down in what seemed slow motion.  Then, to my surprise, I heard him from under his bike yell out "THAT WAS A REALLY COOL FALL, I EVEN GOT MY FOOT STUCK IN THE TIRE!!!!!!"