These times are REALLY hard for me. I still feel like a kid myself. At times, I find it very hard to believe that anyone would trust me to keep their children much less raise my very own. Luckily, the above situation of your child letting out their first cuss word has not yet happened . . . . . . . . . HOWEVER, yesterday I had a first. Keller, our oldest child, has always been very obedient and, for the most part, quick to stop something if you let him know that it is wrong. What an easy life!!!! Then our sweet little Ms McKendry came along. HELLO FEMALE!!!! You know what I'm talking about- the flirtatious looks that are supposed to make whatever she is doing behind her back okay. Some of it has not surprised me at all, I'm female. . . . . I understand those thoughts and the way that it's almost inbreed in us to push the envelope a bit. Needless to say, my parenting is a bit different with a girl. I have to be VERY aware of when I tell her no and the consistency of sticking with what I say. I also found I have to be VERY aware of what I say in front of those sweet little ears.
Yesterday, as I was cooking breakfast, McKendry sat in front of "her"cabinet doing her usual. She was dragging every plastic cup out and playing with all the spare sippy cups. This is part of our "routine"; No different. That's when I heard it . . . . . ."OOOHHHHH DDDOOOOSSSSSHHHHH" Well, that's a new one, I thought, what did she say. I stopped what I was doing to look down and really pay attention. Then again, as she was struggling to unscrew a top off of a sippy cup, in a grumbly very frustrated voice she says "OOOOOHHHHHH DDOOOOSSSSSSHHHHH!" I had never heard that kind of rumble in her voice or for that matter that kind of frustration. It was quite funny watching her. She wasn't mad just baffled at how to get the top off of the sippy cup. In her frustration this phrase kept spilling out of her mouth in a voice so foreign to me that I was laughing out loud. It was funny, but then I realized she was mirroring my frustration and getting that same tone in her voice that I do when I totally loose my patience with her, Keller, or for that matter Bobby. She was saying "Oh Gosh!" WOW! What a slap in the face. Such a small little girl, not even two, yet she was speaking such harsh and "adult" words . . . What to do? I sat back hoping it was just a freak event that she was saying this phrase. Now that 24 hours have transpired and I've heard it multiple times I realize it's stuck. Yeah it's funny, but is it really? Nope. I feel like a heel. She heard that from me, not TV, not her brother, not her father but ME! Sounds very mild and innocent. I'll admit that I have laughed to myself many of the times that she has said it. Not at the phrase, but the cute way she says it. It's really kind of adorable. I'm just being honest. Today, I did decide to look up the definition of gosh to prepare myself for the talk that we will have to have to reverse this phrase: Gosh - an exclamation of mild surprise or wonder. Hmmmm, didn't seem so bad, then the origin of the word just about jumped off the page- euphemistic alteration of God.
Bobby and I have now discussed the situation and decided at her age she isn't going to truly UNDERSTAND why this is wrong. Her brother, on the other hand, does. This will be a lesson for him. An opportunity for me to show Keller that I mess up daily. An opportunity tonight, as we pray as a family, to ask God to forgive me. I NEED my children to understand that I DON'T expect perfection from them, and that I will NEVER judge them. I want them to understand God is our friend. I don't want my children to feel that He is unapproachable. I grew up so many times being scared when I messed up thinking God would be MAD at me. God loves us and smiles upon us when we learn from our mistakes!!! Thank you God, once again, for teaching me soooo much through the eyes of my children!
|So as those precious little eyes look at me each day, PLEASE God let my eyes look up to You to guide me each step of the way!!!!!|