Heaviness . . . . . .

Do you ever have those days when your overcome with emotion. . . . .  It's like everything that you could possibly feel in your entire lifetime is laid on your heart at that very moment.  I've been so convicted lately of how we flippantly will say that we are praying for someone yet, we cease to truly PRAY for that person.  Not the prayer of "dear God, you know _________ needs, I pray that you will meet those needs"  in the midst of our crazy day. You know what I'm talking about . . . . . . if we are honest we all do it.  I'm not bashing those prayers or saying they aren't worthy. God hears all of our prayers, and I KNOW that no prayer is to small or to big for our God. BUT I do feel that we should set aside time to PRAY without ceasing for those needs of our friends, family, co-workers,  acquaintance's, friends of friends etc.  The truth of the matter is we are all family doing life together, and God calls us to support each other not only in the extraordinary times, when it's easy, but also during the times of dismay.  Those are the times when we need each other the most.  The times when we question, "why?" The times when we become angry at how such horrible things can happen to such wonderful people.

This morning I woke to so many prayer needs of those close to me (and even not-so-close) that I genuinely was overwhelmed.  I had no conception of where to begin, what to pray, how to pray . . . . .  I could not process all the emotion, all the devastation, the wonderful praise of healing, and new days ahead.  I felt myself  being so easily distracted when praying for these needs.  Distracted . . . . . .  really?Why would I become distracted?  We are talking about peoples lives, questions of what tomorrow brings, pleads with God to heal peoples bodies, yet my mind would still drift to things concerning me.  I know that seems so selfish, and awful of me to admit. How could I be so heartless that I would let other things distract me?  What were those distractions?  Distractions of praise . .  praise that I have been so blessed with all that I have.  Conviction of how often I'm not appreciative of what I have, how I constantly find myself wanting more, yearning for more, and feeling like I NEED more.  Conviction of not only my blessing, but how I fail MISERABLY daily by trying to take control, and be my hands and feet.  Daily I find myself doubting how I may have handled a situation at work, with Bobby, with my children, at a store or on the road to a total stranger.  Why do I doubt those times? BECAUSE I'm not letting God lead me.

So, today, as I do life will all of you I pray that I will take my prayer time seriously.  I pray that when my thoughts drift to you, that not only will I cherish you as one of my thoughts, but that I will genuinely pray for you.  I don't have to specifically know your needs, God knows them.  I just have to focus my eyes on Him and not the distractions of me.  Each of you deserve the prayers of praise, thanksgiving, healing, renewal without distraction.  I vow to be raw and candid when even the flesh of me worries what others may think.  God calls us to be real with each other.

Know that you are loved and that today my heart is so heavy for many.  I take that heaviness seriously . . . .